(Columbus, Ohio)

To Bart"See that hippo rolling in dung? You're the dung."

"Bart, Fluffy died. Dad buried him in the backyard, but not in that order."

"I'm so proud of you, Mom. You're like Christopher Columbus. You discovered something millions of people did before you."

"Dad, just for once don't you want to try something new?"
Homer: "Oh Lisa, trying is just the first step toward failure."

To Homer "Why must you fight every utility?"

"Cheer up, Dad. Did you know the Chinese use the same word for 'crisis' as they do for 'opportunity'?"

"Be myself? I've been myself for eight years and it hasn't worked."

"He's not like anybody I've ever met. He's like a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a vest."

"Relax? I can't relax! Nor can I yield, relent, or... Only two synonyms? Oh my God, I'm losing my perspicacity! Aahhh!!"

"It means life's full of unexpected things, and you should never give up."

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