Diet Quotes and Weight Loss Funnies-

"A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch." -Hermione Gingold

"Before long it will be the animals who do the dieting so that the ultimate consumer does not have to." -Mimi Sheraton

"It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it." -Roseanne Barr

"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.” -Ernestine Ulmer

"When friends tell you how awesome you look, drop the "I still have more to go" crap. You worked hard and you deserve the compliment!" -Jillian Michaels

"Never eat more than you can lift." -Miss Piggy

"I’m allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat.' -Jennifer Greene Duncan

"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is fourteen days." -Totie Fields

"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.” -Doug Larson

"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is." -Ellen Degeneres

"In general, mankind, since the improvement of cookery, eats twice as much as nature requires." -Benjamin Franklin

"I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants." AW Brown

"In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips, and chains. Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale." -Stephen Phillips

"The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!" -Marvin Phillips

"The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook." -Andy Rooney (wieght loss diet quote)

"Food is like sex: when you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good." -Beth McCollister

"I only eat in three places: here. there. and everywhere." -Daniel L. Worona

"I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990." -Dave Barry

"It would be far easier to lose weight permanently if replacement parts weren't so handy in the refrigerator." -Hugh Allen

"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people." -Orson Welles

"To lengthen your life, shorten your meals." -Proverb

"The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day, you're off it." -Jackie Gleason

"Why is wieght loss so slow when brain loss is so fast?"- diet quote unknown

"My advice if you insist on slimming: Eat as much as you like - just don't swallow it." -Harry Secombe

"I bought a talking refrigerator that said "Oink" every time I opened the door. It made me hungry for pork chops." -Marie Mott

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Optimum Weight 
I'm the perfect weight....from the eyebrows up and ankles down. The middle has a mind of it's own.

Sarah's List of Diet Quotes 
"When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away. But first I spray them with Raid so I won't dig them out of the garbage later. Be careful, …

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